Talking Recordable Envelopes Are as Bad as They Sound

The Talking Recordable Envelope will slowly drive you crazy, until you fill it with anthrax and return it to the original sender

It?s a sickness, I know, but when I see a piece of gimmicky junk on sale I immediately start searching out its weaknesses, the dumb design defects that will disappoint buyers. So you can imagine my joy when I found out about Talking Recordable Envelopes.

These envelopes have a small widget inside onto which you record a ten-second message. Then, upon opening, they play this back to the ?delighted? recipient. You can record the message as many times you like until you get it right, and the message will continue to play back mercilessly for up to 300 openings.

So, let?s get started. First is the delicacy of the sound module. It?s set into the top edge of the envelope. The blurb says that it has an extra paper layer for protection, and that the envelope is marked for hand-stamping only, but good luck anyway.

Worse it what happens when it gets to the destination. How do you open your mail? Do you try to lift the flap? Or do you just tear along the top edge. You tear into it, of course, and this would destroy the sound module. The envelope is reinforced to ?encourage people to open the envelop [sic] via the flap?, but again, good luck with that.

Should you still be unfortunate enough to receive one of these, still working, would you open it anyway? I?d take one look and call the bomb squad.

The product page suggests wedding invites complete with the couple?s song (not tacky at all), promotional (or junk) mailings, holiday cards, and ?Everyday Fun!?. Having experienced the horror of my mother?s Cliff Richard Christmas card (Cliff is a kind of English fake Elvis, only more leathery, way less talented, and still alive), which years later still works, I can say these things are a truly horrible idea.

Finally, the paper stock used is ?aqueous coated?, or shiny. Better bring a Sharpie.

The Talking Recordable Envelopes come in packs of ten, starting at $48 per set. A bargain.

FABULOUS TO GET THEIR ATTENTION! [Sound Expression Greetings via Red Ferret]

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Source: http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/2011/05/talking-recordable-envelopes-are-as-bad-as-they-sound/

robyn dol cowboys and aliens simon and garfunkel paul mcdonald